One of the things I often hear from my clients and students is that they don't know how to come up with effective tapping statements. It's important to remember that tapping statements are simply a tool to keep you focused on the issue, and it’s focusing on the issue while tapping that releases it. One of the easiest ways to bring your feelings to the surface to be named, tapped out, and released is to look at a picture of the person you're hurting about.
So if you're grieving the loss of your sister, for example, look at a picture of her and notice how you feel. What thoughts and feelings arise as you look at her face? Use whatever answers come to you in response to that question as tapping statements.
For example: "When I look at her face, I feel so sad that she's gone. I can't believe I'll never get to see her or laugh with her again. I'm so sad that she won't get to see her kids grow up. I'm so sad that my niece and nephew lost their mom."
As you continue to look at the picture, ask yourself, "What do I miss the most about this person?" Then turn your answer to this question into tapping statements. If you lost your husband, looking at a picture of him might bring up thoughts and feelings like: "I really miss the way he looked at me. No one will ever love me like that again. We were supposed to grow old together. I'll never get over this." Just take each of these, one by one, and tap them through.
Grief doesn't have to last forever, though it's a common belief that it does and should. Grief is about mourning what we've lost, and releasing our attachment to it, not carrying the pain of that loss for the rest of our lives.
I think that the reason for this widely held belief about the permanency of grief is that more often than not, it gets stuck in the body, and needs some way to be released, which most people don't have.
That's why EFT is so effective in healing grief. It unlocks the body, where the pain is stored, and clears it out. It is so simple, gentle, and quick. Grief that has been carried for decades can be released in one session, permanently. Poof! The pain is gone, and the love remains.
While you're looking at a picture of your lost loved one, keep in mind that you can use the set-up where you feel it's necessary or helpful, or tap without it. Usually, though using a set-up statement is often very healing in and of itself, the tapping works just fine without it.
When you use EFT to release your feelings of loss and sadness, you'll notice that looking at pictures of that person will feel lighter and lighter. The pain of grief will no longer overshadow your love for this person, and the gratitude you feel for having had them in your life.
Until you reach a point where you really feel free of emotional pain when you think about the person you lost, you can use pictures as a kind of a litmus test to let you know where you are in your grieving process. Do you feel at peace when you look at this person? Or do feelings of sadness, anger, regret, or guilt come up?
If painful emotions like these do arise, just tap them out. Though it can feel like your grief is infinite, there is an end to it. Think of it as being a glass of water. Every time you tap some of your grief away, it's like pouring out a little of the water, and that water is gone for good. The more you tap, the sooner that glass of grief will be empty.
When doing EFT/tapping on your own, if you get stuck, aren't getting the results you want, or would simply like to have the support and guidance of an experienced professional, I recommend working with an EFT practitioner. To schedule a session with me, click here. If you feel that another EFT practitioner would be a better fit for you, click here to access a directory of practitioners.
Click here to download my free Grief Checklist for
identifying and releasing hidden aspects of grief.