How to Use EFT to Release Anger


Mad at someone? Feeling hurt, betrayed, or disappointed by that person? If so, EFT can help! One of the most powerful ways to use EFT to release anger about another person is to create tapping statements out of what you would like to say to him or her, and then tap these statements through until they feel neutral.


For example, "Joe, I'm really angry and hurt because I needed you to listen to me, and you ignored me instead." When doing this kind of EFT, allow yourself to give voice to how you're really feeling, even if it sounds petty, mean, or childish. Just meet yourself exactly where you are, and tap yourself free from the painful emotions you're carrying about what happened. 


This is a great opportunity to give expression to feelings that wouldn't be wise or helpful to actually say to the person. Instead, similar to writing a letter that you would never mail, you say out loud, as though you were really speaking to the person, what you are feeling, no matter how accusatory, victimey, or hurtful.


Tell it like it is, and tap yourself free! Just be sure to keep tapping through the points as you pour your heart out. As you do this, you will feel the anger slipping away, leaving peace in its place.  


Keep in mind that as you use tapping to neutralize the emotional charge on one statement, another one may immediately take its place, so that just as you're beginning to feel peaceful about one aspect of your anger, you may begin to feel upset about another aspect that has just been uncovered (think of the peel-the-onion metaphor).


Though this can seem like an odd simultaneity of inner events, it is a normal and necessary part of the process, and actually means that it is working.  Just continue releasing your feelings as they arise, by creating tapping statements out of each one and tapping it out until the emotional charge is gone or nearly gone.


Alternatively (or in addition to), you could write one of the letters I mentioned above, and use it as a tapping tool. Simply read the letter out loud to yourself while tapping through the points, and repeat this process until reading it no longer triggers any emotional charge in you.


You can use this technique with anyone, living or dead. Just think of the person you're feeling badly about, and ask yourself: "How am I feeling about this person? If I could say anything to him/her, with no fear of consequences like hurting them or causing further problems, what would I say?"


When the answers to these questions come, start saying them out loud while tapping through the points. Repeat the same statement over and over again until it feels neutral. For example: "I can't believe you did that to me. How could you?"


When that one's clear, another one will likely arise in it's place, such as: "I really needed you to stand up for me, and you didn't." Just tap that one through, and continue on with each statement that arises until you feel like the session is complete. 


With some relationships, there can be years and years worth of hurt feelings, so just do as much as feels comfortable for you, and then come back to it another time.


Remember that whatever you released is gone for good, and though it can seem like an endless amount of "stuff", it's not. There's a finite amount of hurt, and every time you do EFT on it, there's less of it left, until finally, it's all tapped away, leaving you with peace instead of pain.


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