7 Reasons People Don't Heal and How to Release Them with Tapping


According to teacher and author Alison Armstrong, these are the seven reasons that people refuse to heal:


1) Identity


2) Belonging


3) Attention


4) Justification


5) Righteousness


6) Manipulation


7) Mistake healing for forgiveness


I love that she shines a light on the phenomenon of people refusing (usually unconsciously) to heal. What I love even more is that tapping can be used to release every single one of these.


How do we do this? By using tapping statements like the ones below to address each reason. 


Please note that these examples are simply suggestions--starting points that you can use in your own healing, or in your work with clients.


If any of these statements resonate with you, that's an indication that tapping them out will help to release inner resistance to healing. Assess the charge they bring up for you by giving the ones that resonate a number between 0 and 10. Then tap each one down to a zero.






The statements suggested here can be used as is, or modified in any way that makes them resonate more fully with your experience. Also, you may notice that when you start tapping on one of these statements, thoughts and feelings will arise that you can then turn into new tapping statements, which will then give rise to still more thoughts and feelings, which you can use to create additional tapping statements, and so on.


I call this process following the thread, and it’s a very efficient way to heal and release a lot of painful feelings in a short amount of time, bringing you both peace and clarity about whatever it is that's causing you to suffer.


If, when working with this tapping script, you get stuck, aren't getting the results you'd like to get, or would simply like to have the support and guidance of an experienced professional, I recommend working with a trained EFT practitioner.








"I'm afraid I'm going to lose who I am without this grief/anger/trauma/pain/illness."






"Without this issue, I won't fit in with my peer group/family/partner anymore, and I don't want that to happen."






"While part of me wants to heal, another part of me feels like I need this illness/issue/grief/pain in order to get the attention I need from my loved ones."






"Being destructive with my anger is justified because of my traumatic childhood and all I've been through because of it."






"Because of this betrayal, I have a right to withhold love from my partner at any time."






"Though it's hard to admit, sometimes I use my grief/sorrow/pain/illness to manipulate others around me, and I like having that power."



Mistaking Healing for Forgiveness


"I'll never forgive ___________ for what he/she did to me, and therefore I must hold onto all of the pain that he/she caused me."



It's also helpful to keep in mind that you (or your client) may feel guilt and shame around these things. If these emotions arise, tap them out, too!


I find using statements like these to be a very powerful and effective way to identifying and releasing aspects of issues that may otherwise remain hidden. Though it often takes courage and a lot of honesty with one's self, the results of this inner work can be nothing short of life-changing.





When doing EFT/tapping on your own, if you get stuck, aren't getting the results you want, or would simply like to have the support and guidance of an experienced professional, I recommend working with an EFT practitioner. To schedule a session with me, click here. If you feel that another EFT practitioner would be a better fit for you, click here to access a directory of practitioners.  





Heather Ambler is a San Francisco Bay Area based teacher and practitioner of EFT, writer, speaker, and founder of The 30-Day Tapping Challenge. Through her private practice and online programs, she has helped many thousands of people all over the world use EFT to find freedom from suffering and release the inner obstacles that were keeping them from living their best life. To learn more about Heather, click here.







Please reload

Cover of 30 Limiting Beliefs that Preven
Please reload


One of the best ways to identify parts of ourselves that need healing is to work with wishes and wants. Here's how to use this powerful technique.

How to use Margaret Lynch's fantastic book, Tapping into Wealth, to heal financial trauma, remove inner obstacles to prosperity, and live your best life.

All entrepreneurs experience fear. And while there are certain fears which a lot of entrepreneurs have in common, there are others which are totally specific to the individual. For this reason, there are literally countless fears that an entrepreneur could have. In this post, we’ll look at some of the more common entrepreneurial fears, and why it's so important to...

I recently had the opportunity to talk about EFT tapping with Jen Riday on her fantastic podcast, Vibrant Happy Women. From using EFT to recover from grief and trauma, to tapping away money blocks, to using it for weight loss, we covered it all! If you’re brand new to tapping or have been doing it for years, this episode will give you new insights into this remarkably powerful transforma...

It probably goes without saying that the more confident you are, the more successful your business will be. But why is that exactly? To gain a fuller understanding of it, let’s look at some specific business scenarios in which confidence, or the lack of it, plays a role in your ability to make the income and impact that you’re truly capable of.

Regardless of what your goals are for your business, limiting beliefs are nearly always going to be a part of the picture. Let’s look at some of the effects that limiting beliefs can have on your business....

I had a great conversation with Dr. Cortney Baker on her podcast, Women in Business. We talked about how to achieve your goals by removing your inner obstacles to success, like fears, limiting beliefs, self-doubt, and money blocks. During the interview, we covered a lot of ground, including what causes these blocks, how to identify them, and how to make sure they don't come back.

Though EFT tapping is incredibly effective for grief recovery, most people don’t fully recover from losing a loved one. Throughout the past 10 years as an EFT practitioner, I’ve observed 5 main reasons for this. In today’s post, I’ll go over each one, including examples of how these inner obstacles to healing tend to present.

This script will help you to identify and release the many aspects of grief over losing your mother. Because love is forever, but grief doesn't have to be.

Want to make more money? Taking 2 minutes to identify the limiting beliefs in this article which apply to you is a powerful first step. Because the truth is, no matter how hard you work, or how talented you are, these beliefs can stunt your earning potential. After over 10 years as an EFT practitioner and mindset coach, I’ve seen it more times than I can count. Smart, talented, creative,...

Generally speaking, low self-esteem does not happen in a vacuum. There are some common childhood experiences which pretty much always lead to low self-esteem, even in children who, prior to these experiences, had healthy levels of confidence and self-worth. 

I see this day in and day out in my work with clients. Sadly, the effects of these early wounds to self-esteem can be far-...

In my over 10 years as an EFT practitioner and teacher of EFT, countless people have emailed me, messaged me on Facebook, and commented on my social media posts that they're not getting the results they had hoped for with tapping. Thankfully, if you know what to look for, this is relatively easy to troubleshoot. Here are the most common reasons people don't get good results with...

Please reload