While it's true that failure is part of every success story, it's also true that many people never succeed because their past failures hold them back.
Memories of past failures can feel like ghosts that are haunting us--constant reminders of how we fell short in the past. These memories can also feel like harbingers of doom, casting a shadow on our hopes and dreams for the future.
That's the bad news. The good news is that you can use tapping to neutralize these past experiences so that they can no longer affect you. But in order to do that, you first need to become aware of how they're affecting you.
#1: Believing That Because You've Failed in the Past, You're Doomed to Fail in the Future
This limiting belief is incredibly common, and it is often unconscious, which can make it an even bigger risk factor in sabotaging your success.
Believing this can diminish your self-esteem, cause you to resent others who you see as being more successful than you are, make you think that success is just not in the cards or the stars for you, cause you to stop trying, and cause you to unconsciously sabotage your own efforts when you do try. #selffulfillingprophecy
All of this adds up to making it much more difficult, if not impossible, for you to succeed.
# 2: Fear of Experiencing the Pain of Failure Again
When we fail, it hurts, and this pain often causes people to avoid failing again. Unfortunately, the only real way to avoid failure is to avoid even trying to achieve your goals. While it's true that if you don't try to achieve your goal, you can't fail, it's also true that if you don't try, you can't succeed.
#3: Diminished Confidence
Failing to achieve our objectives can really take a toll on our confidence. We blame ourselves for what went wrong and for what failed to go right.
The coulda-shoulda-woulda chorus can be relentless, constantly pointing out what we could and should have done differently, and would have done differently if only we had been smart enough, talented enough, disciplined enough, etc.
Needless to say, it's pretty hard to work toward future success when our minds are berating us for our past failures.
Indeed, when we don't feel confident about our ability to achieve what we set out to do, it can be absolutely crippling.
#4: Fear of Criticism and Judgment from Others
When we fail at something, it can often make us feel embarrassed and ashamed, as well as fearful about what others may be thinking and saying about us.
When others openly criticize us for our failure(s), this fear can be greatly intensified.
As we endeavor again to achieve a goal, the mind can swirl with frightening thoughts like:
What if I'm just opening myself to more criticism and judgment?
I'll bet everyone thinks I'm going to fall flat on my face again.
What will people say if I don't succeed this time?
If __________ doesn't believe in me, how can I believe in myself?
This kind of mind chatter can make it really hard to take the necessary steps toward achieving our goals. It can cause us to falter and even stumble due to lack of confidence, an inability to focus, and constantly doubting ourselves as we imagine others to be doubting us.
Once again, this often leads to more failure in the future.
#5: Believing That Our Past Failure Means That We Don't Have What It Takes to Succeed
Oftentimes when people fail, their minds convince them that the reason for that failure was that they are somehow intrinsically flawed--not smart enough, not attractive enough, not talented enough, not thin enough, not young enough, not old enough.
When we believe these kinds of stories about ourselves, it can lead to things like not trying, unconsciously self-sabotaging, giving up too soon, and not seeing opportunities that are right in front of us, none of which are conducive to success.
THE COMMON DENOMINATOR
What all of these ways that past failures prevent future success have in common is unresolved trauma.
To release this trauma so that it can no longer affect you, it's necessary to unpack each of your failures and tap them out. Unpacking them means to uncover and identify every bit of pain, every belief, and every fear that you have about the failure.
This article should give you a good start. I encourage you to review each of the 5 ways that past failures can prevent your future success, and as you read each one, ask yourself if it resonates with you.
For each one that does resonate with you, either on your own or with an EFT practitioner, unpack it and tap it out.
Once you've freed yourself from the burden of past failures, you'll be amazed by how easy it is to go after your goals with discipline, passion, and confidence.
When doing EFT tapping on your own, if you aren't able to completely heal the issue you're working on, so that when you think about it, it no longer causes any stress, emotional pain, anger, or fear, I recommend working with a professional EFT practitioner. If you decide that this is the best course of action for you, click here to schedule a session or free consultation click here.
BY HEATHER AMBLER
Heather Ambler is a San Francisco Bay Area EFT practitioner and mindset coach. Through her private practice and online programs, she's helped over 10,000 people from 78 countries recover from grief and trauma, overcome fears, release limiting beliefs, increase confidence, and achieve goals. To schedule a session or free consultation, click here.