When it comes to healing with EFT tapping, the key is to be as thorough as possible in unpacking whatever issue you're working on. This is easier said than done, but there are some tapping tools you can reach for that will get you results every time.
What follows are five of my tried and true techniques for making sure every aspect of an issue I'm working on with a client has been uncovered, identified, and released.
1) Look for and find the unmet need within the issue. There are a couple of ways to go about this. One is to simply ask yourself what you needed and did not get in the situation at hand, and then use the answer(s) as a tapping statement. For example, if you were working on healing the pain of your partner or spouse being unfaithful, you would ask yourself, "What did I need in this situation that I didn't get?"
Likely answers that you could tap out would be:
I needed my husband to be faithful to me.
I needed my husband to be honest with me.
I needed him to honor his wedding vows.
Another way to find the unmet need within an issue is to try out tapping statements until you find one that fits. Returning to the example of the cheating spouse, you could try out statements like:
I needed him to be trustworthy.
I needed him to be honorable.
I needed him to put me before all others, and he didn't.
2) Look for and find the unfulfilled desire within the issue. You could go about this in the same two ways as above--first by simply asking yourself what you want to have happen in the situation you're working to heal, and second by trying out different statements about what you want and tapping out the ones that fit and have an emotional charge.
For example, if you're working on trauma from a car accident, and you ask yourself, "What do I want in relation to this traumatic experience?" the answers that come might be something like:
I want to feel safe in cars like I used to.
I want my injuries to be completely healed, like they never happened.
I want to be able to drive on that road without feeling panicky.
3) Look for and find the wish within the issue. On the surface, this one looks very similar to the before, about the unfulfilled desire, but as you work with it, I think you'll find that wish statements and want statements often have emotional charges of their own, even after one or the other has already been tapped down to zero.
Again, you can either find the wish by asking yourself about it, or by trying out some statements to see if they fit. Returning to the infidelity example, possibilities might be:
I wish my husband/wife/partner had been faithful to me.
I wish he would do everything he possibly can to win back my trust so that I know he really means it and really values me and our relationship.
I wish that this had never happened.
4) Look for what you need to say to others about this issue, and use the answer as a tapping statement.
For example, with the infidelity issue, you might use as a tapping statement one or more of the following:
How could you do this to me?
I trusted you and you betrayed me.
I don't think I can ever trust you again.
When I'm working with a client, in order to help them find what they need and want to say to one or more people about the issue, I simply ask, "If you could say anything at all to this person, with no consequences whatsoever, and without trying to be nice, transcendent, or spiritual, what would it be?"
The answers usually come pouring out, and along with them, tears. Then we tap until all of the pain in these statements is gone.
5) Look for any anger or resentment you have about the issue, and create tapping statements about it. Returning to the car accident example, you might come up with statements like:
I’m angry at my friend for tailgating--we never would have crashed if she hadn't done that.
I'm angry at myself for not speaking up about her tailgating when it was making me really uncomfortable.
I resent the police officers at the scene for being so gruff with me when I was clearly injured.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, these strategies are all on my checklist of go-tos when working with a client on any issue, including grief, trauma, fear, lack of confidence, limiting beliefs, and more. I think you'll be amazed by how versatile they are, and by how many previously undiscovered aspects of issues they'll help you to find and heal.
When doing EFT tapping on your own, if you aren't able to completely heal the issue you're working on, so that when you think about it, it no longer causes any stress, emotional pain, anger, or fear, I recommend working with a professional EFT practitioner. If you decide that this is the best course of action for you, click here to schedule a session or free consultation.
BY HEATHER AMBLER
Heather Ambler is a San Francisco Bay Area EFT practitioner and mindset coach. Through her private practice and online programs, she’s helped over 10,000 people in 78 countries recover from loss, heal trauma, release fears, increase confidence, and achieve goals. To schedule a session or free consultation, click here.