The Facts Don't Matter: The Primacy of Emotional Truth in EFT

 

 

The facts don't matter? How can that be? What does that even mean? Let me explain. If you've had a traumatic experience, but you don't remember exactly what happened, you can still use EFT to completely heal and release the trauma. What matters is how you feel when you think about what you do remember. And even if what you "remember" is factually inaccurate, that's okay. Again, what matters is your emotional truth. 

 

What does "emotional truth" mean? To help illustrate this concept, here's a list of things that your emotional truth is not:

 

  • What you think you should be feeling

  • What someone else thinks you should be feeling

  • What you think is the appropriate response to what happened

  • Your intellectual understanding of what happened

  • Someone else's intellectual understanding of what happened 

 

Which is not to say that these things don't have their place. They do. But that place is not an EFT session. Let me modify that. It's fine for those things to enter into an EFT session, and they often do. However, it's important to acknowledge them, and then set them aside for the time being, so that you can focus on your emotional truth.

 

Your emotional truth is how you actually feel about something, regardless of whether or not you want to feel that way, think you should feel that way, or think that it makes sense to feel that way.

 

Some people find it challenging to determine what their emotional truth is. For example, when asked, "How do you feel when you think about that night when your father beat you?" they might say, "I think he was having a hard day," or, "He had a really tough childhood. I'm sure he was doing the best he could."

 

While transcendent perspectives like these show a lot of compassion, they are not the person's emotional truth about what happened. They are the person's intellectual and/or spiritual understanding of what happened. Again, these are valuable in and of themselves, but what is necessary in order to use EFT to heal the trauma is for the person to focus on their emotional truth.

 

In this case, the person's emotional truth about being beaten might be fear, sadness, and anger. It's also possible that the person won't know what to call the emotion(s) they're feeling, but they will know that it hurts, and that is enough to work with. So we just focus on the painful memory, by either talking about it or using tapping statements about it, and tap it out until the memory has no emotional charge.

 

People often say to me about early childhood trauma: "How can I tap this out if I can't even remember exactly what happened?" My response is always, "Exactly what happened doesn't even matter." This is not a court of law, this is a healing session. Do you have a sense of how you feel when you turn your attention toward what you think happened? Yes? Then that's all that matters. 

 

This is where tapping statements like the following can be very effective:

 

"I don't remember exactly what happened, but when I think about that night, I feel terrified and sad."

 

We just begin where we are, and tap until it doesn't hurt anymore. By then (and oftentimes even before then), the next statement will most likely reveal itself, and then we tap that out, and continue in that fashion until the whole thing is healed.

 

How do you know when it's healed? When you can turn your attention toward the event, or the time period, or the person, or all of the above, and it doesn't hurt anymore. And that will be your new emotional truth. Peace. The sweet relief of healing. Freedom.  

 

 

PLEASE NOTE

 

When doing EFT/tapping on your own, if you get stuck, aren't getting the results you want, or would simply like to have the support and guidance of an experienced professional, I recommend working with an EFT practitioner. To schedule a session with me, click here. If you feel that another EFT practitioner would be a better fit for you, click here to access a directory of practitioners.  

 

For a downloadable PDF of this article click here.

 

 

 

 

BY HEATHER AMBLER

Heather Ambler is a San Francisco Bay Area based teacher and practitioner of EFT, writer, speaker, and founder of The 30-Day Tapping Challenge. Through her private practice and online programs, she has helped many thousands of people all over the world use EFT to find freedom from suffering and release the inner obstacles that were keeping them from living their best life. To learn more about Heather, click here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please reload

Cover of 30 Limiting Beliefs that Preven
Please reload

MORE FROM THE BLOG

One of the best ways to identify parts of ourselves that need healing is to work with wishes and wants. Here's how to use this powerful technique.

How to use Margaret Lynch's fantastic book, Tapping into Wealth, to heal financial trauma, remove inner obstacles to prosperity, and live your best life.

All entrepreneurs experience fear. And while there are certain fears which a lot of entrepreneurs have in common, there are others which are totally specific to the individual. For this reason, there are literally countless fears that an entrepreneur could have. In this post, we’ll look at some of the more common entrepreneurial fears, and why it's so important to...

I recently had the opportunity to talk about EFT tapping with Jen Riday on her fantastic podcast, Vibrant Happy Women. From using EFT to recover from grief and trauma, to tapping away money blocks, to using it for weight loss, we covered it all! If you’re brand new to tapping or have been doing it for years, this episode will give you new insights into this remarkably powerful transforma...

It probably goes without saying that the more confident you are, the more successful your business will be. But why is that exactly? To gain a fuller understanding of it, let’s look at some specific business scenarios in which confidence, or the lack of it, plays a role in your ability to make the income and impact that you’re truly capable of.

Regardless of what your goals are for your business, limiting beliefs are nearly always going to be a part of the picture. Let’s look at some of the effects that limiting beliefs can have on your business....

I had a great conversation with Dr. Cortney Baker on her podcast, Women in Business. We talked about how to achieve your goals by removing your inner obstacles to success, like fears, limiting beliefs, self-doubt, and money blocks. During the interview, we covered a lot of ground, including what causes these blocks, how to identify them, and how to make sure they don't come back.

Though EFT tapping is incredibly effective for grief recovery, most people don’t fully recover from losing a loved one. Throughout the past 10 years as an EFT practitioner, I’ve observed 5 main reasons for this. In today’s post, I’ll go over each one, including examples of how these inner obstacles to healing tend to present.

As with all of my tapping scripts, these statements can be used as is, or modified in any way that makes them resonate more fully with your experience. You may notice that when you start tapping on these statements, thoughts and feelings will arise that you can use as new tapping statements. I call this following the thread, and it's a very efficient way to heal and release a lot of...

Want to make more money? Taking 2 minutes to identify the limiting beliefs in this article which apply to you is a powerful first step. Because the truth is, no matter how hard you work, or how talented you are, these beliefs can stunt your earning potential. After over 10 years as an EFT practitioner and mindset coach, I’ve seen it more times than I can count. Smart, talented, creative,...

Generally speaking, low self-esteem does not happen in a vacuum. There are some common childhood experiences which pretty much always lead to low self-esteem, even in children who, prior to these experiences, had healthy levels of confidence and self-worth. 

I see this day in and day out in my work with clients. Sadly, the effects of these early wounds to self-esteem can be far-...

In my over 10 years as an EFT practitioner and teacher of EFT, countless people have emailed me, messaged me on Facebook, and commented on my social media posts that they're not getting the results they had hoped for with tapping. Thankfully, if you know what to look for, this is relatively easy to troubleshoot. Here are the most common reasons people don't get good results with...

Please reload

© 2019 HEATHER AMBLER. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. CONTENT MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM.

TERMS OF USE  |  PRIVACY POLICY