Tapping to Heal, Transform & Thrive | July 30, 2022
Group EFT Session Video and Transcript
This online group EFT session took place on July 30, 2022.
Tap along with this 90-minute group EFT session in which we:
Healed grief
Released trauma
Erased fear
And zapped money blocks
By watching the video and/or reading the transcript, you'll By watching the video, you'll also learn a ton about how to use EFT effectively, because throughout the session, I answered lots of questions from participants.
To watch and tap along with the video, click below. To read the transcript, scroll down.
Heather Ambler: Hi, everyone. Welcome, welcome. I’m Heather Ambler. Thank you for being here today, so that together we can use the gentle power of EFT to heal whatever is holding you back or causing you to suffer. Before I continue, let's just make sure that everyone can hear me.
Candace, can you hear me? Everybody, can you nod if you can hear me? Thank you. Thank you. Okay, we're in business.
All right, so let's dive in. So, if you have never done EFT before, it's totally fine. The basics are super simple, and you'll learn how to tap just by watching the rest of us do it, so just follow along and don't even worry about doing it right. EFT is super forgiving. And even if you're totally new to it and it feels a bit awkward as it does for most people when they start out, it will still be effective.
So I conduct these group sessions much like I conduct my private sessions. I'll be working with pre-selected volunteers, just one by one. As I work with each person, everyone else will be tapping along just like this and healing.
So, if you are not the person that I'm working with, as long as you're tapping along with us, you will heal. And the reason for that is because EFT works by focusing on the issue while tapping, so doing those two things simultaneously heals the issue.
When I'm working with a volunteer on healing their issue, just focus your mind on your own issue as you tap, and that will create healing for you. So sometimes the tapping statement that we're all tapping on together will fit something in your life.
Candace Brooke: You're mute.
Heather Ambler: I have no idea how that happened. Can you hear me now?
Candace Brooke: There we go. You're back up. Yeah.
Heather Ambler: Where did you guys lose me? So, Candace, what was the last thing you heard me say?
Candace Brooke: Don't worry about EFT not working. As long as you're tapping, it will work.
Heather Ambler: So sometimes the tapping statement that we're all tapping on together. Forgive me if I'm repeating this, but I don't know where you guys lost me or how I got muted.
Sometimes, it will fit something in your life that needs healing and sometimes it won't. And either way, you will still be healing because, again, whatever statement that we're tapping on is going to bring up something for you. And, as you focus on that while tapping, you will heal.
So I'm going to pause to answer questions throughout the session. So if you have a question, just please hold onto it until I ask for questions. In that way, the session will just flow better for everyone.
So before we start tapping, I want to remind everyone that this event is being recorded, so that those who cannot attend live can still participate in the event and benefit from it.
And lastly, I need to say that by participating in this session today, you are taking responsibility for your own [00:03:30] well-being and safety. You acknowledge that as an EFT practitioner, I am neither a physician nor a psychotherapist, and nothing I say here today is medical advice.
Okay, everybody, let's start healing. So that everyone can get a sense of how I work and what to expect, the first volunteer that I'm going to be doing EFT with today is my brilliant assistant, Candace. Hi, Candace.
Candace Brooke: Hello.
Heather Ambler: As I'm working with her, you can either just listen to us and tap along, or you can focus your mind on your own issue as you tap. Again, either way, you're going to heal because whatever you're thinking about as you tap will be released layer by layer because, broken record over here, EFT works by focusing on the issue while tapping.
Okay, so when I ask Candace and the other volunteers questions, I want you to apply those same questions to yourself and whatever it is that you're wanting to heal today. If what I ask her or the others does not fit your situation at all, it's okay. Just modify it as best you can, okay? Hi, Candace.
Candace Brooke: Hello.
Heather Ambler: So let's see here. There you are. Let me just get situated here with all my different screens and documents and everything. So let me just talk to everybody for a minute.
Candace and I spoke a couple of days ago, and we decided that we were going to work on money issues on identifying and removing inner blocks to receiving money, growing income, all of that.
And the reason we decided to work on that is because, number one, pretty much everyone could use a little of that, regardless of your income. Everyone, from the most wealthy person on town, has money blocks. That's just [00:05:30] how humans are. We have fears. We have limiting beliefs and all of that.
And, as you've probably noticed, the economy is a little wackadoodle right now. And that is true whether you're in the US like I am or in the UK or the EU or South America or Asia.
Things are intense right now economically. It's bringing up a lot of fear for people. So I thought it would be helpful for the whole group if we worked on that [00:06:00] with Candace, so that we can all as Gary Craig, the founder of EFT, says, "Borrow the benefits." And I just want to tell you, they're not borrowed. They're yours, 100%, and you never have to give them back.
Hi there. Okay, so let's tap. Let's see here. So I'm just looking at my notes from when we spoke the other day
How is this one feeling right now? “If I charge for what I do, people will think I am greedy.” Did you already tap that one out or is that one still wanting some tapping?
Candace Brooke: It still wants some tapping. That's about a 8.5. About an 8
Heather Ambler: About an 8. Okay.
Candace Brooke: Yeah.
Heather Ambler: And then finish this sentence for me, please. I'll let that person. "I won't be able to make 5,000 pounds a month because…"
Candace Brooke: I have never made that amount of money before.
Heather Ambler: So, everybody listening, whatever your amount of money is that's higher than what you're currently making, I want you to apply this, okay? So what is yours? "I won't be able to make X amount of money per month or per year because..." and then you fill in the blank, and then bingo, that's your tapping statement. Okay?
Let me just write it down, Candace. And so what number is that? "I won't be able to make 5,000 pounds a month because I've never made that amount of money before." How true does that feel from 0 to 10?
Candace Brooke: That feels like a 9, I think it was.
Heather Ambler: So needless to say, that's a big block for you because the charge is really high. Yep. Okay. So we're going to tap it out, everybody. Everybody tapping together, just follow along. Candace, will you remind me the setup wording that you like to use?
Candace Brooke: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Heather Ambler: All right. So let's tap together, everybody, on the side of the hand and repeat after me. Even though I won't be able to make 5,000 pounds a month because I've never made that amount of money before…
Candace Brooke: Even though I won't be able to make 5,000 pounds a month because I have never made that amount of money before…
Heather Ambler: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Candace Brooke: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Heather Ambler: Good. Again. Even though I won't be able to make 5,000 pounds a month, because I've never made that amount of money before…
Candace Brooke: Even though I won't be able to make 5,000 pounds a month because I've never made that amount of money before…
Heather Ambler: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Candace Brooke: I deeply and completely accept myself.
Heather Ambler: I'm going to change it up a little bit here. Are you ready? Even though I won't be able to make 5,000 pounds a month because I've never made that amount of money before…
Candace Brooke: Even though I won't be able to make 5,000 pounds a month because I've never made that amount of money before…
Heather Ambler: I'm doing the best I can, and I deserve to make 5,000 pounds a month.
Candace Brooke: I'm doing the best I can, and I deserve to make 5,000 pounds a month.
Heather Ambler: Yes, ma'am. Okay, so now we're going to shorten it back down to the original statement. And we're going to take it through all the tapping points.
Everybody here, especially people who haven't worked with me before, we're going to tap on this for a while, okay? Just because it's more expeditious that way to not pause a lot to check in and see how it's feeling, we're going to tap and tap and tap for several minutes. And then we're going to check in and see how it's going.
And so obviously, I'm working with Candace. Whatever you're working on, whatever this is bringing up for you, give it a number, okay? So gauge what the intensity of it is for you, either what the emotional charge is. Or if it's a limiting belief, how true it feels to you from 0 to 10? And sometimes, it's both.
But just for simplicity’s sake, you can just pick one. Whatever number pops into your head with what you're working with, go with that. And if you have something to jot it down on, then that's helpful, so go ahead and do that.
Okay, so let's tap on the eyebrows. I won't be able to make 5,000 pounds a month because I've never made that amount of money before.
Candace Brooke: I won't be able to make 5,000 pounds a month because I've never made that amount before.
Heather Ambler: Keep going through the points.
Candace, Heather, and the whole group tap through the points for 4 minutes, with Candace repeating the statement, “I won't be able to make 5,000 pounds a month because I've never made that amount of money before.”
Heather Ambler: So we're going to pause there. And so I'm giggling. Candace knows why I'm giggling, and it's because she's yawning. So, for those of you who aren't aware of the yawning phenomenon, it's super common while doing EFT, and it doesn't happen to everyone.
So, if you're not a yawner, that's totally fine. You're still going to heal. But when Candace starts yawning or any of my other yawners start yawning (and I'm a yawner too), I'm like, "Yeah, baby. We're healing."
And also, it's adorable, so that makes me giggle. So great job, Candace. What number does that feel like now? “I won't be able to make 5,000 pounds a month because I've never made that amount of money before.” How true does that feel now, 0 to 10?
Candace Brooke: 4 or 5.
Heather Ambler: That's beautiful. Right? That's a lot of movement down from the 9 where we started.
Candace Brooke: Oh, yeah.
Heather Ambler: Right?
Candace Brooke: Uh-huh.
Heather Ambler: It's still coming down. All right, so let's give this another good several minutes of tapping. Everyone else, whatever you're focusing on, as I tap with Candace, just keep going and also maybe notice whatever number you started with. What number is it now? Has it shifted? Or is it the same?
Sometimes, it goes up before it comes down. Sometimes, it comes straight down. Sometimes, it gets stuck. And when it gets stuck, it's nothing to worry about. It makes it a little trickier, but it's still totally doable. So, if your number is stuck, no worries.
Candace, your number is not stuck. So let's keep healing this and taking it down. So let's go back to the eyebrows. “I'll never be able to make 5,000 pounds a month because I have never made that amount of money before.”
Candace Brooke: I won't be able to make 5,000 pounds a month because I've never made that amount before.
Heather Ambler: Keep going through the points.
Candace, Heather, and the whole group tap through the points for 4 minutes, with Candace repeating the statement, “I won't be able to make 5,000 pounds a month because I've never made that amount of money before.”
Heather Ambler: Okay. Let's pause there, Yawny Yawnerson. What number is it now 0 to 10?
Candace Brooke: Like a 2.
Heather Ambler: A 2. Beautiful. Okay, so you know from working with me before that, if it was just the two of us in session together, we would tap until this was a zero because a 2 is a life-changing difference from a 9, but it’s still 20% unhealed—still in place. You still believe this at 20% and therefore, it's still going to have the power to keep you stuck, yeah?
Candace Brooke: Yeah.
Heather Ambler: So let's see here. I'm just looking at the time. I want to look at this one. I want you to tell me if this resonates with you at all, okay? If this feels true to you or if this fear resonates with you. So here it is: “I’m afraid that the financial crisis will make it impossible for people to pay me for what I do.”
Candace Brooke: Yeah. That feels pretty true.
Heather Ambler: 0 to 10?
Candace Brooke: Like an 8.
Heather Ambler: Okay, so let's tap that out. Again, everyone else who's here with us, what kinds of fears and limiting beliefs and worries is the financial crisis causing you to have? And maybe focus your tapping on that for this one, okay? So let's bring it straight to the eyebrows. I'm afraid that the financial crisis will make it impossible for people to pay me for what I do.
Candace Brooke: I'm afraid that the financial crisis will make it impossible for people to pay me for what I do.
Heather Ambler: Keep going through the points.
Candace, Heather, and the whole group tap through the points for several minutes, with Candace repeating the statement, “I'm afraid that the financial crisis will make it impossible for people to pay me for what I do.”
Heather Ambler: And let's just pause there. What number is it now? “I'm afraid that the financial crisis will make it impossible for people to pay me for what I do.”
Candace Brooke: Oh, like a 3.
Heather Ambler: That's fantastic, right? That's huge movement in just a few minutes, from an 8 to a 3 in less than four minutes. And, again, everybody, Candace, everybody else who's here, that's amazing, right?
I want to make a really important point here. The difference between an 8 to a 3 is so huge, and it typically feels so different to everybody no matter who they are or what they're tapping on, that people often, if not always, stop when they get to a 3, right?
They go, "Oh, it feels so much better. I must be done."
You're not done, because it’s still a 3. This is why I'm such a stickler for the numbers, because the 3... It's not a zero, is it?
The 3 tells us that this is still 30% unhealed, right? 30% holding you back, 30% making you scared, 30% preventing you from doing what you need to do to move the needle in your business, right?
So, everybody, when you get to a 3—sometimes people even stop at a 4 because the 4 really is this critical tipping point where things just really start to feel different. You have to go by the numbers because it might not even really register in the body-mind anymore.
But the number which is really delivered to you, to all of us, by the subconscious mind, tells us, "This ain't all the way healed yet. You have to keep going." Okay?
When it's all the way healed, it will be a zero. Okay? If it's a 1…. I love a 1. Guess what? It's not all the way healed. It's still 10% unhealed and we can't have that. Right?
Anyone who's worked with me before knows that I am a real stickler for the numbers. I'm a real stickler for zero. I want things to be 100% completely healed. Okay?
I'm going to pause for questions now. Candace, thank you. Thank you for working with me to release these fears and limiting beliefs. It's so helpful to everyone when we can demonstrate this together. And so I really, really appreciate everything you do for me including when you work with me on stuff in these group sessions. It's really, really great so thank you.
So does anybody have a question about what we've covered thus far or about EFT in general?
Natasha: I have one.
Heather Ambler: Candace, love, I can't hear you. Sorry. If you have a question, let me get the gallery view here, go ahead and raise your hand. Let's see. Natasha, hi.
Natasha: Hi. Sorry. That was me. I didn't realize I [inaudible].
Heather Ambler: I didn't make that clear at all! So what's your question?
Natasha: I've got two questions really.
Heather Ambler: Sure.
Natasha: So the first is general. So, at the moment, I've got quite a debilitating health challenge where I... it's temporarily. It's very difficult to use my arms or my voice so it's painful. So I've been sitting here. Once, years ago, someone taught me some tapping and told me I could do it in my head. So I've just been doing it in my head. And I just wanted to ask your opinion. The reason I wanted to come tonight was to see, is this possible for someone to do with someone when you're doing it in your head? Is that like-
Heather Ambler: Yeah, it is.
Natasha: What are you thinking about that?
Heather Ambler: And that's such a great question. And I'm so sorry about your health condition. That just sounds so hard and yes. This is how I want to address that question. So, yes, it is possible. And I've done quite a bit of tapping in my head myself either if I was in a place where it was not appropriate to be tapping in front of everyone. It would be distracting to others like a funeral, for example, or any kind of public or semi-public venue.
And then, as some people know and some people don't know, I was bedridden with COVID for well over a year, and I did not have the strength to tap for most of that time. I couldn't do this. I didn't have the energy. And so what I did, I did some tapping in my head. Though, frankly, that was quite difficult for me also because I didn't have the strength to concentrate that hard.
So there's two options for you, Natasha. So, to answer your first question, yes, it works. And the reason why it works, we're stimulating these acupuncture points, right? And in terms of the meridian system and all of that, even though I've been an EFT practitioner in August, which I believe is the day after tomorrow, it will be, I don't know, 14 years or something like that. I'm not super well-versed in the meridian system. I just know that EFT works and so I do it.
So there's the meridian system, but then there's also just the brain. And so when you are focusing, you're imagining that you're tapping on these points. The same parts of your brain are lighting up as if you were actually tapping. It's called mirror neurons, right?
Again, I'm not an expert on this, so whatever I get wrong, I totally apologize.
But it's the same as if you're watching basketball or football or tennis on television or live. It's like the same areas of your brain. For people who know how to play tennis or football or basketball, the same parts of their brain are lighting up as they watch other people play as if they were playing themselves, right?
Natasha: Okay.
Heather Ambler: And so what we're doing, my current best understanding of EFT, and again, I don't know if this is totally accurate. I love the results of EFT. I'm working to get results with EFT all day, every day. I get the results without really understanding why it works or how it works. So I apologize if I'm messing up the science. But my current understanding is that what we're doing, let's say, when we work like we just... Candace and I just were working on money fears, right? It's like these money fears are neural pathways in her brain. And there's something about tapping, whether it's physical tapping or imagined tapping, when we do that while focusing on a fear or grief or trauma or whatever the case may be, for some reason, it's like it erases the neural pathway and therefore, it erases the emotional response to it.
So it's not like it's helping us deal with the issue, which is for the most part, in my experience how psychotherapy works, it's not giving us tools to cope with an issue. It's healing the issue it's erasing it, so you don't have to cope with it anymore.
So I say, go for it, right? It takes quite a bit of concentration to tap without tapping as what I call it, tapping without tapping. But if you have the energy to do it, then go for it because I do think that it is effective.
And one of the reasons... you can feel the numbers going down, right? So I want you to try it as an experiment. So pick something that you're going to tap on, make sure you give it a number because that's how we can tell if it's healing. And then tap without tapping, tap mentally for five minutes, and then check in and see if the number has changed. If it has not, that means it's not working, to be frank, right?
And if it's not working, my understanding is just that you're not concentrating clearly enough on the points which is understandable. It's quite tricky. And I don't teach the technique to very many people though I did learn it many years ago when I first learned EFT, and I have used it ever since then. So I hope that answers your question.
Natasha: Yeah.
Heather Ambler: I hope it's helpful to you.
Natasha: It does and it's interesting what-
Heather Ambler: And I hope you recover from whatever your health condition is.
Natasha: Thank you. Just what you were saying about, what I found was I was able to do with my eyes closed and then I opened them and looked at you. And when I could see everyone else doing it, I found it a lot easier to [inaudible].
Heather Ambler: It's way easier because the mind doesn't wander.
Natasha: Yeah. I have a quick question about the actual tapping as well so what we just did. So we started on the money. And then I found that really quickly my thoughts changed to randomly some old grief that I felt was stored in my left leg. So it was totally off the topic, and that leg went really stiff. I could really feel the muscles tensing up. So, in my mind, I just started focusing on the leg. But then I was thinking I'm not saying the statement now about money and I didn’t-
Heather Ambler: I got you.
Natasha: If that... Okay.
Heather Ambler: If you and I were in session together and it was just us, what I would do is I would unpack that with you because, and so I'm talking to everyone now when, and this happens to pretty much everyone, myself included, when you're tapping on one thing and the mind just goes to something else which is seemingly random and unrelated, it is almost never unrelated, okay?
So the grief for you, what I would explore with you, if it was just the two of us and I didn't have to stick to a schedule and move on and all of that, is what is the relationship for you between this grief and the money issue? If I looked for that, I would almost certainly find it and I would find it quickly because this is what I do all day long, right? I just have a lot of little tricks and tools for finding stuff.
And very often, an emotional issue or an emotional wound will manifest as certain sensations in the body. So that's not unusual. And what I would say is if you're doing EFT by yourself, maybe jot it down, and then go back to the original thing, right?
So, "Oh, this is bringing up grief for me which I'm feeling in my left leg." And then, to the best of your ability, continue to focus on the one that you're tapping on. Or make a note, come back to this.
This is what I do when I'm in session with clients and we switch to something else, come back to this, then you can go to the new thing. And whether to stay with the current one or go to the new one, that's a little tricky. And it just takes a lot of experience to know what the most expedient way is. But it also is super helpful to keep in mind, you can't do this wrong, right?
If you're tapping, you're going to be healing. And it might be more expeditious to go this way instead of that way and whatever. And again, that just takes, frankly, some practice. So I hope that is helpful. I'm going to-
Natasha: Thank you.
Heather Ambler: You're so very welcome. So I'm going to go ahead and move on to the next volunteer. So anyone else who has a question, I apologize for keeping you waiting, but I just felt like sticking with Natasha for now was the best way to go. And I think that her questions were important ones for everyone to hear the answers to because they cover just very important fundamental points about EFT.
Okay, so let me look at my notes here. So next, I'm going to be working with Francine. Francine, are you here somewhere?
Francine: Yes.
Heather Ambler: Candace, maybe, if you wouldn't, could you please help find her here in our Zoom room? And I'm going to look for her as well. Hi. Hi, Francine. Nice to see you. Hey, there.
Francine: Hi.
Heather Ambler: Candace, will you help me highlight her or however that works? Zoom is not my forte, but Candace is much better at it than I am. So, hi, Francine. It's really good to meet you. I think you're unmuted already which is perfect.
Francine: Yes.
Heather Ambler: So it's good to meet you. And as we discussed via email, we're going to work to heal some grief about the loss of your husband, yeah?
Francine: Yes. I'm having a little bit of difficulty dealing with, well, I guess the aftermath of being alone so much. I never ever lived alone prior to getting married, so I'm finding that challenging. And I don't really enjoy having to spend so much time alone, and I feel very alone sometimes. I do have a few friends around. But sometimes, I just feel... I don't know. I'm afraid to bother people. So, if they don't reach out to me, I feel like I'm always the one going to them. So I know I have to find a way to build a life for myself after my husband's death.
But my son lives not too far away and they just had a new baby. So that's keeping me a little bit busy. But it's trying to, like I say, trying to build a life for myself. It's hard to get motivated to do anything for myself anymore.
And COVID didn't help things; it happened. He died just at the very, very beginning of all of that, so that made me even more isolated.
Heather Ambler: I'm going to interject here. I apologize for interrupting. I often say that if I had a business card (which I did for many, many years), it should just say professional interrupter because it's not that I'm not interested, it’s just that I want to get healing as quickly as possible.
So it seems to me that a big contributing factor to the loneliness and the challenge of living alone and all of that, at least in part, yes, you've never lived alone before. And that's a huge adjustment, needless to say. And also living alone is not for everyone. Some people just innately are better suited to it than others.
And I think the best place to start to help to make it easier for you to build your new life after losing your husband is to heal as much of the grief as possible, including these aspects of how hard it is to live alone without him after all of these years.
So I've taken what you shared with me just now and also what you shared with me in the questionnaire that you filled out. And I've created some tapping statements. I want to test a couple of those with you, and then we're going to start to tap and heal. Okay?
Francine: Okay.
Heather Ambler: So, everyone else, just follow along. And however this may apply to you in your life, just try to focus on that or just listen to Francine and to me, and that alone will be healing, especially once we start tapping.
So I just want to begin with this very straightforward statement of fact. It's straightforward, but it's not simple. It's just it's so huge, and there's so much inside of this statement.
And the statement is, "I lost my husband in March 2020." Could you say that out loud for me please?
Francine Doucet: Uh-huh.
Heather Ambler: And if you can't say it, then that's okay.
Francine: I lost my husband in March 2020 [holding back tears].
Heather Ambler: So there's so much grief, so much grief that needs to be healed there. What number would you guess that is in terms of the emotional charge from 0 to 10?
Francine: I guess it's a 9 or so.
Heather Ambler: Okay, so I want to begin with that if you're comfortable with that. Okay? Is that all right? I never want you to do anything that you're not comfortable with in your work with me. Okay? Even if your work with me is only just these few minutes, it's really important that you be comfortable with everything we do and anything that I suggest to you. If you're not comfortable with it, it can be modified. So you just tell me, and then I modify it accordingly, okay?
So we're going to skip the setup here. I don't use the setup very much in my work with clients, maybe once per session, if that. EFT works just fine without it. So we're just going to go straight into this, okay? And I know that there's a whole big world inside of this statement, and we're just going to begin to heal all the different aspects of this loss by addressing it with this straightforward statement of fact.
So let's tap together, you and me, on the eyebrows. I lost my husband in March of 2020.
Francine: I lost my husband in March of 2020.
Heather Ambler: And now I want you to repeat that statement at every tapping point. Go ahead.
Francine: I lost my husband in March of 2020.
Francine, Heather, and the whole group tap through the points for several minutes, with Francine repeating the statement, “I lost my husband in March of 2020.”
Heather Ambler: And let's just pause here, Francine. How are you doing?
Francine: Okay. I was really flabbergasted by my reaction to that statement. I didn't expect that at all.
Heather Ambler: That's not unusual to just state the loss in those simple terms and to have it open a well a grief, and it's not pleasant. It's hard, but we do it to heal it, yeah?
Francine: Mm-hmm.
Heather Ambler: What number would you say it is now? “I lost my husband in March of 2020.” What's the emotional charge from 0 to 10?
Francine: Maybe a 4.
Heather Ambler: That’s a lot of healing in just a few minutes. Yeah, really, really great job, Francine, really great job. Okay, so this is what we're going to do. As everybody knows, as you know, Francine, because I just told everybody, this needs to go to zero. But because this is actually quite a global statement, and within it, consciously or unconsciously or a combination of both, are many, many different aspects of your loss and your grief.
We're going to move on to another aspect of your grief. And if it was just you and I working together in private session, we would keep coming back to this statement. We'd move on to other aspects of grief, heal those, and then we'd just keep checking in with this one.
Because as we work with these other aspects of your loss, this number is likely to come down and down and down until it's a zero. And I know it's impossible to imagine that you could say that and not feel any pain, but I promise you it is possible because EFT just heals. It just heals this stuff. So you're doing really great. Are you good to continue with me?
Francine: Sure.
Heather Ambler: Okay, so I want to test another statement here. Does this wording resonate with you? "I'm finding it hard to live alone without my husband.”
Francine: Yes. I'd say maybe at a 5.
Heather Ambler: And does the wording fit your experience just right? Or do you feel like you want to tweak it at all?
Francine: Maybe I'm finding it so lonely living here without my husband.
Heather Ambler: There we go. Thank you. Let me just modify that. “I'm finding it so lonely living here without my husband.” Is that what you said?
Francine: Mm-hmm.
Heather Ambler: Is that also a 5? Or does that have a different emotional charge? I'm finding it so lonely living here without my husband.
Francine: It might be a 6.
Heather Ambler: Let's heal it. Ready? Tapping together on the eyebrows. I'm finding it so lonely living here without my husband.
Francine: I'm finding it so lonely living here without my husband.
Francine, Heather, and the whole group tap through the points for several minutes, with Francine repeating the statement, “I’m finding it so lonely living here without my husband.”
Heather Ambler: Let's just pause there and check in, Francine. What number would you say that is right now, the emotional charge? “I'm finding it so lonely living here without my husband.”
Francine: Maybe a 3.
Heather Ambler: Okay, so that's come down by half.
Francine: Mm-hmm.
Heather Ambler: That's tremendous. Good, good, good, good. Okay. I want to give this another good round of tapping, okay? And then I'm going to take questions again and then work with our last volunteer, okay?
Francine: Okay.
Heather Ambler: And I just want to say now before I forget, what you had shared, one of the things you shared with me in the questionnaire, is it okay if I mention it now about the night that he was hospitalized?
Francine: Yeah, sure.
Heather Ambler: I just wanted to address that briefly. We won't have time to tap it out today, but as you may or may not know, that's really like a PTSD flashback that you're experiencing when you go…
Francine: [inaudible]
Heather Ambler: ….when you go upstairs, and that can be healed. The trauma that's leading to that flashback can be healed just like this. We focus on that night and the images and how it made you feel. We tap it out until it's zero. And then the symptom of that trauma, which is this recurring flashback every time you go upstairs, just drops away, okay?
Francine: Mm-hmm.
Heather Ambler: So just know that that's possible, okay?
Francine: Okay.
Heather Ambler: So let's see here. Thank you for your question, Shannon. I'm not going to take questions quite yet. I'm going to do another round of tapping with Francine, and then I'm going to take questions, so thank you. So let's go back to the eyebrows, Francine. “I'm finding it so lonely living here without my husband.”
Francine: I'm finding it so lonely living here without my husband.
Francine, Heather, and the whole group tap through the points for several minutes, with Francine repeating the statement, “I’m finding it so lonely living here without my husband.”
Heather Ambler: Let's go ahead and pause there. What number does it feel like to you now, Francine? “I'm finding it so lonely living here without my husband.”
Francine: I think a 2.
Heather Ambler: 2. Good, good, good, good. From a 6 to a 2. That feels pretty different. Yeah?
Francine: Yes.
Heather Ambler: Good. So, again, zero is the goal with this aspect of grief and with every other aspect, and zero is possible with all of it. And so I just want to leave you with that, that this can be totally healed.
Again, I know it's impossible to imagine that. And it actually flies in the face of everything that we are taught to believe about grief. And I think that's largely because grief couldn't really be healed for most of human history, and now it can. And so I just want you to know that you can heal this, right? It can all be healed so that you're not suffering anymore, and you can move forward in your life in a way that feels really good to you. So whether you do that with me, or you do it on your own, or you do it with another EFT practitioner, I really just want to make sure that I tell you this can all be healed, okay?
And another thing I want to mention to you and to everyone is that with almost everyone that I work with on grief, what surfaces is this belief that's prevalent in many, many cultures which is that, if you're not suffering about the loss, it means that you're not honoring that person and their memory, or that you don't love them anymore.
Almost everybody that I work with, we need to do EFT to clear those beliefs. And so what it all boils down to for everybody dealing with loss is that when the loss is totally healed and it just does not hurt anymore, the love is still there forever.
And so that's why I say very often in writing and in session, "Love is forever, but grief doesn't have to be." So, as you heal your grief, as you continue to heal it, Francine, just try to keep that in mind. Your love for him is not going anywhere; it's forever, okay?
Francine: Mm-hmm.
Heather Ambler: Thank you so very much for working with me and sharing your healing process with everybody here. I really, really appreciate it.
Okay, so now it's time for questions and I think... So, Candace, do you have someone in mind? I think Shannon had raised her hand. I don't know where she is. I can only see three people right now and none of them are Shannon in my current view here. Are you still here, Shannon? Can you raise your hand again?
Shannon: Yeah, I'm here.
Heather Ambler: Hi.
Shannon: Hi. Can you see me?
Heather Ambler: Nice to meet you. I can hear you. I can see you. It's all good. What's your question?
Shannon: First, I want to say thank you, Francine, for being so brave and open in sharing that with us. I really appreciate you.
So I'm a fairly new EFT practitioner, certified through EFTi, and my question is, when you said that if you were working one to one, you would work on a specific kind of memory that she brought up about the stairs. And would you use the same basic recipe? Or would you do tell the story on that?
Heather Ambler: I would use the same basic recipe unless it was clear to me that that was causing re-traumatization, in which case, I'd be less likely to use tell the story. Occasionally, I use the tell-the-story technique—really not very often. It's a totally valid technique. That's just not how I tend to roll with it. If working with it in the ways that we were just doing was causing re-traumatization, I would just, I think it's called sneaking up on the issue, or I call it working around the edges of it, so that the process is just more gentle, and it’s not bringing up so much emotion which can be re-traumatizing. So we would start with this statement of fact of what happens when she goes upstairs. I hope it's okay, Francine, that I'm continuing with your example. If it's not, just let me know and I'll just switch to something totally different.
And if that's feeling too intense, then I would back off of it. And then, again, pick a statement that works around the edges of it like, "What happens in the evenings is too upsetting for me to talk about." And then once that is brought down from whatever the emotional intensity level is, brought down considerably say from an 8 to a 3, then we might retest the original statement and just keep going in that fashion until it becomes more comfortable and less charged to work with the either the traumatic memory or the PTSD trigger, exactly as it unfolds.
And then we can heal it in its entirety so that the traumatic memory is gone. Not gone. The memory is still there. The pain is removed from the memory and then the trigger. You can't trigger an issue that's not there anymore basically, right? So the PTSD flashback is not happening anymore because that's a symptom of the unhealed trauma. Got me?
Shannon: Yep. Thank you so much.
Heather Ambler: You're so very welcome. That's a really great question. Okay, so I think we have time for one more question, and then I'm going to work with our third volunteer. Then I'm going to take questions again, and then we're going to wrap up for today. So does anyone else have a question that they want to ask before I work with our next volunteer?
Candace, I can't even see you because of the view that I have in my Zoom right now. So, if you have a volunteer for me, who has a question, let me know. And, if no one else has a question, that's totally fine. We'll just go onto the next volunteer. So, Candace, are you here? Let's see. I'm looking for you on my screen.
Candace Brooke: No questions. I'm just looking for our next volunteer for you quickly.
Heather Ambler: Okay. I found her.
Candace Brooke: Great.
Heather Ambler: So we're going to move on to our next volunteer. Hi, Chris.
Chris: Hi there.
Heather Ambler: Hi. Thanks so much for being here. And Chris and I discussed earlier the other day that she would be more comfortable not being on camera. So that's why you can't see her. And so let's dive in, Chris. It's good to meet you. Thank you so much for being here.
Chris: You too. Thank you for doing this.
Heather Ambler: Oh, you're welcome. You are welcome. So we're going to be working with this fear of driving on motorways, okay?
Chris: Yeah.
Heather Ambler: Okay, so I've created a few tapping statements that we can just test out and see if the wording is right—see what the emotional charge is. Make sure I understand the issue based on just a little bit that you shared with me in your questionnaire, and then we're going to start to heal this, okay?
Chris: Okay.
Heather Ambler: Let's see. So let me ask you this. When you had the panic attack, were you driving on a motorway at that time?
Chris: Yes.
Heather Ambler: I got you. Okay, so I'm just taking notes here. So say out loud, if you feel comfortable, "I had a panic attack while driving on a motorway.”
Chris: I had a panic attack while driving on a motorway.
Heather Ambler: And 0 to 10, what's the emotional charge on that statement of fact? So zero is no emotional charge, and 10, of course, is the most upset you'd ever been. What number would you give that?
Chris: 8. 9.
Heather Ambler: Okay, so this is why it's still really hard, if not impossible, for you to drive on a motorway, because there's so much trauma still here that has not been healed.
And I know you've done EFT before and that it was effective for you, and so this can be healed. So I would just want to give you an alternate statement. And I want you to pick the one that you feel the most drawn to starting with, knowing that really there's no wrong answer here, okay? So the other one is, "25 years ago, I had a panic attack while driving on a motorway." What number is that one?
Chris: Probably the same.
Heather Ambler: And do you have a preference between the two, “25 years ago…” or just without that part, "I had a panic attack while driving on a motorway?”
Chris: Just I had a panic attack while driving on a motorway.
Heather Ambler: And for some reason, I feel like doing the setup right now. And so what is your preferred setup wording? And, if you would like, I can offer some options.
Chris: Usually, I just say, "Even though I can't drive on the motorway, I still love and accept myself.”
Heather Ambler: Let me just write that down. Good. Okay, so everybody and most especially you, Chris, we're going to tap this out. So let's tap together on the side of the hand and repeat after me, "Even though I had a panic attack while driving on a motorway... “
Chris: Even though I had a panic attack while driving on a motorway…
Heather Ambler: "I still love and accept myself.”
Chris: I still love and accept myself.
Heather Ambler: Good. Again, "Even though I had a panic attack while driving on a motorway…"
Chris: Even though I had a panic attack while driving on a motorway…
Heather Ambler: I still love and accept myself.
Chris: I still love and accept myself.
Heather Ambler: Good. One more time, "Even though I had a panic attack while driving on a motorway…"
Chris: Even though I had a panic attack while driving on the motorway, I still love and accept myself.
Heather Ambler: Good. So now we're going to shorten it back down to the original wording and take it to the eyebrows. "I had a panic attack while driving on a motorway.”
Chris: I had a panic attack while driving on the motorway.
Heather Ambler: And just keep going through the points with that statement.
Chris, Heather, and the whole group tap through the points for several minutes, with Chris repeating the statement, “I had a panic attack while driving on the motorway.”
Heather Ambler: Let's go ahead and pause there. What number does it feel like now?
Chris: 6, 7.
Heather Ambler: Beautiful. Beautiful. Okay. Good, good, good. Great job, Chris. Let's continue with this one, yeah?
Chris: Okay.
Heather Ambler: You doing okay?
Chris: Yeah.
Heather Ambler: Okay, good. All right, everybody, everybody, let's tap together some more. Back to the eyebrows, Chris. "I had a panic while driving on the motorway.”
Chris, Heather, and the whole group tap through the points for several minutes, with Chris repeating the statement, “I had a panic attack while driving on the motorway.”
Heather Ambler: And let's go ahead and pause there. What number is it now, Chris?
Chris: 5.
Heather Ambler: It's coming on down. Started at an 8 or 9, now we’re at a 5. So I need to go ahead and take the last question from a volunteer. But, if you and I were in session, just the two of us, of course, we would continue with this. We would tap on this for another several minutes. Bring it down, at least, below a four. And then what we would do, as you know, the fear of driving on a motorway, it just is growing straight out of this traumatic experience of having a panic attack, right?
So the panic attack is the root. The fear is just growing out of that. So that's why we're focusing on the panic attack trauma. So we would continue to unpack and heal that traumatic experience, so that when you think about that panic attack 25 years ago, it just feels like something that happened. It's just a neutral memory, a neutral fact. And then what we would do is we would look at the fear now. What is the fear? I'm afraid that if I am driving on a motorway, I'll have another panic attack. Does that resonate with you?
Chris: Yeah.
Heather Ambler: So then we would tap on that, right? So then we heal the trauma, we’d heal the fear that comes from the trauma. And then I can't make any promises, but my best guess is that it would then become very easy for you to drive on the motorway. And you got a little taste of that before the pandemic, right?
Chris: Yeah.
Heather Ambler: When you did some EFT on this and it healed you enough to free you up enough to drive a little bit on the motorway, which is amazing. So, when this whole thing is healed, which it easily can be, it's just a matter of continuing to unpack it and tap it out. You're not going to have the trauma affecting you anymore. You're not going to have the fear affecting you anymore, or the suffering that it causes. And very, very likely, you'll be able to drive on motorways again. And wouldn't that be nice, needless to say?
Chris: Yes, it would. It would be lovely. At least, it would make my life so much easier.
Heather Ambler: Oh my goodness sake, yes, indeed. Yeah. So whether you continue this process with me or you do it on your own or with another EFT practitioner, this can be healed all the way, okay?
Chris: Okay.
Heather Ambler: So just remember that.
Chris: Thank you.
Heather Ambler: It doesn't matter how long ago it was, right? You are so welcome. Thank you. I'm really, really grateful to you for working with me here and sharing it with everyone so that everybody can benefit from it. I wish we had more time. But anyway, I think we've got a good start. I would suggest that you continue tapping out this statement, "I had a panic attack while driving on the motorway." Just give it some more tapping on your own time.
Again, if you and I were just in session, just the two of us, I would continue to unpack this. But just to work with this statement on its own, there's a lot of healing still to be done here because even though we've brought it from an 8 or 9to a 5, when that statement alone is a zero, that's huge. So, if you haven't already written it down, then please do.
Chris: Should that be every day? Should it-
Heather Ambler: No, no, no. That's such a good question. People ask me this all the time. So the goal is to tap out an issue or an aspect of an issue. In this case, this is an aspect of the trauma, right?
Chris: Okay.
Heather Ambler: To tap it down to a zero, it typically takes, I don't know, 8 to 15, sometimes 20 minutes to get any aspect of any issue down to a zero. So, if you want to give it five minutes a day, then yes, every day until it's a zero. But, if you just want to tap it out until it's a zero as I do with all my clients all day long every day, then just do that. Set a timer for 20 minutes and tap on it until it's a zero. It will go to zero.
And there's a caveat. So, if it does not go to zero, if it gets stuck, let's say you started at an 8 or 9, and then you tap it to a 3. We're at a 5 now. You tap it to a 3 and you keep tapping and tapping. It's just not moving down. That just means that it's stuck, and that happens, and it's okay.
Then what needs to happen is to figure out why it's stuck. And it's almost always around... I'm going to say always, it's stuck because there's another aspect here that needs to be addressed before this one can heal the rest of the way.
So you just need to find that. Or I can help you find it or another EFT practitioner who's skilled can help you find it, right? You tap out the aspect that's keeping this stuck. Then you return to the one that's stuck. Sometimes, it's gone down just on its own from tapping out the related thing that was keeping it stuck. Or sometimes, it's the same, but then you resume tapping on it, and it just comes right down, yeah?
Chris: Yeah. That's good because I did do it every day for a long time. Well, I did it for a long time, a number of days, but not like just... It was maybe just 5, 10 minutes a day. That got me to 3, and that got me to be able to do two exits. I never got below 3. I don't think-
Heather Ambler: Okay. So that's funny that you... my example fit exactly what happened to you. So that just means there's more aspects here, right? And there's always more aspects to a trauma.If it was just the two of us and we had the time, I would be going in looking for all those other aspects. It doesn't need to take long at all, okay?
So don't worry that that's as far as you were able to get. EFT is simple, but it's not easy. Or I think I got that backwards. It's easy for those of us who are lucky enough to be able to tap, which is not all of us. And it was not me for a long time when I was sick. And Natasha is not able physically to tap right now. But it's quite complex, right? There's a lot to learn about it. So just don't worry. This can go. Okay?
Chris Maxwell: Okay. Thank you so much.
Heather Ambler: Oh, you're so welcome. Thank you again for working with me. Okay, so I have time for one more question. Does anyone have a question about what we've worked on thus far or anything else about EFT?
Candace Brooke: Francine has put a hand up. So I'm just going to ask you to unmute quickly.
Heather Ambler: Hi, Francine. What's your question?
Francine: Just wondering if there's a specific way to come up with a statement when you're dealing with something that's related to PTSD? I don't quite know where to begin with that.
Heather Ambler: I know. It's tricky and that's what most of what my job is, right? And I'm always learning more about that all these years in. But the best place to start to heal, let's say, a trauma, a traumatic memory is just what I did with you just now and also what I did with Chris, which is that we started with the straight forward statement effect, right?
Francine: Mm-hmm.
Heather Ambler: What happened? Your husband passed away. So, Chris, she had a panic attack while driving on a motorway. So that's a really good place to start the tapping. Write it down. Or most people write like this these days, however you write, write it down and get the emotional charge and start to tap it out that way. And then, again, you want to... it's important to fully unpack every aspect of a trauma, of grief, of fear, whatever the case may be.
Another really powerful thing to do, like the next most obvious or the simplest thing to do after this, just the statement of fact, is to do something like this, "When I think about..." And then you write down whatever the trauma is or the grief. So, for you, it would be, "When I think about the night my husband went to the hospital, I feel..." and then you fill in the blank.
And so for you, Chris, " When I think about the panic attack I had 25 years ago on the motorway, I feel……” and then that's a new tapping statement for you to tap out, right? There's a dozen other ways to unpack an issue, but that'll give you a good start, right?
Another thing is to work with maybe sensory memories. So, when I work with people on car accident trauma, there's almost always a need to do some tapping statements or at least one tapping statement on the sound of the impact. That's typically extremely traumatic for people—the sound of the cars colliding. So that's what I mean by sensory memories. So doing tapping statements about that. So very specific things like sensory memories, the expressions on other people's faces, smells, sounds, that sort of thing.
And another way to do it is to journal about it, and then take what you've written like a big paragraph or multiple paragraphs, and then just split it up into literally just, if you typed it into a document, literally just using the... I'm hitting the return button on my keyboard. Just hitting the return button after each sentence and then looking at all the sentences you have there.
Some of them are going to really grab you with an emotional charge, and then you have all these different aspects of what you wrote about, just what to say, because you already said it. See how sneaky that is?
Francine: Yeah. Good idea.
Heather Ambler: Yeah. It's deceptively simple sometimes, and then also, it's quite complex. It's tricky. So that's a really good question. Thank you. Okay, I have time for one more quick question if anybody has one, and then we're going to wrap up for today.
Candace Brooke: No one else has raised their hands.
Heather Ambler: So that means it's time to wrap up. All right. So I just want to thank you all again for being here with me today. And, if you would like to work with me privately, you can schedule a session with me on my website. I'm offering everyone participating in today's event a special discount of 20% off of all my EFT session packages. And so details about that will be in an email that you're going to receive just a few minutes after we end for today, so be on the lookout for that.
Just take really good care of yourselves, everybody. Remember, if it hurts, tap; it will heal. And thank you again for coming. I look forward to seeing you again next time and bye for now.
Francine: Thank you.
Heather Ambler: You're welcome.
Natasha: Thank you so much.
Heather Ambler: Thank you. See you, guys.
Shannon: Thank so much.
Heather Ambler: You're welcome.
Dave: Thank you, Heather.
Heather Ambler: You bet. Bye, everybody.
Dave: Thanks heaps.