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7 Reasons People Don't Heal and How to Release Them with Tapping

According to teacher and author Alison Armstrong, these are the seven reasons that people refuse to heal:

1) Identity

2) Belonging

3) Attention

4) Justification

5) Righteousness

6) Manipulation

7) Mistake healing for forgiveness

I love that she shines a light on the phenomenon of people refusing (usually unconsciously) to heal. What I love even more is that tapping can be used to release every single one of these.

How do we do this? By using tapping statements like the ones below to address each reason.

Please note that these examples are simply suggestions--starting points that you can use in your own healing, or in your work with clients.

If any of these statements resonate with you, that's an indication that tapping them out will help to release inner resistance to healing. Assess the charge they bring up for you by giving the ones that resonate a number between 0 and 10. Then tap each one down to a zero.


The statements suggested here can be used as is, or modified in any way that makes them resonate more fully with your experience. Also, you may notice that when you start tapping on one of these statements, thoughts and feelings will arise that you can then turn into new tapping statements, which will then give rise to still more thoughts and feelings, which you can use to create additional tapping statements, and so on.

I call this process following the thread, and it’s a very efficient way to heal and release a lot of painful feelings in a short amount of time, bringing you both peace and clarity about whatever it is that's causing you to suffer.

If, when working with this tapping script, you get stuck, aren't getting the results you'd like to get, or would simply like to have the support and guidance of an experienced professional, I recommend working with a trained EFT practitioner.



"I'm afraid I'm going to lose who I am without this grief/anger/trauma/pain/illness."


"Without this issue, I won't fit in with my peer group/family/partner anymore, and I don't want that to happen."


"While part of me wants to heal, another part of me feels like I need this illness/issue/grief/pain in order to get the attention I need from my loved ones."


"Being destructive with my anger is justified because of my traumatic childhood and all I've been through because of it."


"Because of this betrayal, I have a right to withhold love from my partner at any time."


"Though it's hard to admit, sometimes I use my grief/sorrow/pain/illness to manipulate others around me, and I like having that power."

Mistaking Healing for Forgiveness

"I'll never forgive ___________ for what he/she did to me, and therefore I must hold onto all of the pain that he/she caused me."


It's also helpful to keep in mind that you (or your client) may feel guilt and shame around these things. If these emotions arise, tap them out, too!

I find using statements like these to be a very powerful and effective way to identifying and releasing aspects of issues that may otherwise remain hidden. Though it often takes courage and a lot of honesty with one's self, the results of this inner work can be nothing short of life-changing.


When doing EFT tapping on your own, if you aren't able to completely heal the issue you're working on, so that when you think about it, it no longer causes any stress, emotional pain, anger, or fear, I recommend working with a professional EFT practitioner. If you decide that this is the best course of action for you, click here to schedule a session or free consultation.



Heather Ambler is a San Francisco Bay Area EFT practitioner and mindset coach. Through her private practice and online programs, she’s helped over 10,000 people in 78 countries recover from loss, heal trauma, release fears, increase confidence, and achieve goals. To schedule a session or free consultation, click here.

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