The Life-Changing Power of Negative Thinking: How Focusing on the Bad Reveals the Good
In my many years as an EFT practitioner, there's one question my clients and students have asked me more than any other: Isn't it bad to focus on negativity? While I certainly understand where people are coming from with this question, my answer is always no. Here's why:
EFT is a release technique. It works by focusing on an issue (or belief) while tapping. Therefore, in my work with my clients, students, and myself, I rarely tap on positive statements, because the positive doesn't need to be released.
Likewise, it doesn't need to be "tapped in," because it's already there as your natural state, and tapping away the negative reveals it. I think of it as like tapping away clouds that are blocking the sun. That's because we, as human beings, are, by our very nature, filled with joy, peace, gratitude, wonder, and love. By tapping on the negative, we both heal it, and simultaneously reveal all of this wonderful stuff that's been there beneath it all along.
I would also add that in my experience, tapping on positive statements can be effective because they actually bring to mind the negative (often unconsciously), which then gets tapped away.
For example, if you tap on, "I will heal from this pain," the mind may automatically go to, "I'll never heal from this pain--it's too great. The loss is too big. The grief is too overwhelming," etc., and the tapping then releases that.
However, it's nearly always more efficient to focus on the negative specifically, rather than approach it indirectly, by using positive statements.
"BUT I'M A POSITIVE PERSON--I DON'T LIKE TO THINK IN NEGATIVE TERMS." People often say this, not realizing that regardless of how positive they choose to be, negative thoughts and feelings show up inside of them. It's not a choice, it just happens. Thoughts and feelings like "I'm really sad about my boyfriend," and "I'm afraid I'll never attain the level of success I'm striving for," and "I hate the signs of aging I see when I look in the mirror." You get the picture. The wonderful thing is that when we meet ourselves exactly where we are and tap on what's actually showing up inside is, rather than tapping on what we think we should be thinking and feeling, it releases the negativity and pain, leaving peace (and often joy, gratitude, love, inspiration, and motivation) in its place. So if you want to tap on positive statements, by all means, do. Just keep in mind that when you're tapping on the positive, you're simply releasing the negative that focusing on the positive brings up for you. Here are some more examples of what I mean by that: A statement like: "My goal is to earn $200,000 this year," will often bring up, either consciously or unconsciously, beliefs like: I'll never be able to do it. I don't deserve that kind of prosperity. I'm greedy and shallow for wanting to make that much money.
Where the real money is (pun intended), is tapping directly on those negative statements until you don't believe them at all, and they have no emotional charge. In my experience, simply unpacking and tapping out the world inside a statement like "I don't deserve that kind of prosperity," can take an entire tapping session, and sometimes more than one. It all depends on why a person has that belief. Usually a belief like that springs from traumatic experiences, and in order to release the belief, you have to release the imprints the trauma created. Which brings us back to the life-changing power of negative thinking: You have to focus on the negative experiences in order to heal them. So, with the intention of being the most positive, life-affirming version of yourself that you can possibly be, give yourself permission to be as negative as you actually feel about whatever it is you're working to release with EFT.
The more honest and authentic you are about your experiences, feelings, thoughts, and beliefs, the more effective and efficient your tapping will be.
When doing EFT tapping on your own, if you aren't able to completely heal the issue you're working on, so that when you think about it, it no longer causes any stress, emotional pain, anger, or fear, I recommend working with a professional EFT practitioner. If you decide that this is the best course of action for you, and you'd like to work with me, click here to schedule a session or free consultation.
BY HEATHER AMBLER
Heather Ambler is a San Francisco Bay Area mindset coach and EFT expert. Through her private practice and online programs, she's helped over 10,000 people from 81 countries achieve their goals by identifying and releasing the fears, limiting beliefs, self-doubt, and money blocks that were holding them back. Click here to schedule a free consultation.